5 Ways to Break Your Negative Cycle in 2012

We’ve all been there.  You’re stuck in a bad relationship, or your having trouble finding employment or you dream of doing something that you just don’t have the guts to try.

Sometimes it’s a phase in life that we can’t do anything about. But more often that negative cycle is a mindset we’ve settled into that blocks us from what we dream of achieving.

Breaking the cycle isn’t easy. But small steps can eventually lead to the change we seek. Here are a few small but powerful steps to get the ball rolling.

Commit to Doing Something Your Bad At

“I’m an awful singer.” ” I have two left feet.” “I’m not technically inclined.” Judgmental comments we say to ourselves can give excellent clues about what will offer us the most opportunity for growth. Take notice of these thoughts, particularly if the comment regards a skill or talent you’ve always admired in others.

Allowing ourselves to be bad at things, gives us the opportunity to get good.  It follows that the ability to be patient and accept being bad at things makes it more likely that we will eventually be proficient at many more things.

So take those voice or dance lessons; jump in and try something new on your computer or learn a new language.  Just learning to be ok with being bad is a great feat in itself and imagine the feeling of accomplishment you’ll have if you actually achieve proficiency!

Collaborate

Bringing new ideas and new blood into your work environment can be just the thing for breaking out of a rut and collaborating on projects with others has never been easier.

Social media, skype, conference tools such as Google Hangouts and collaboration tools such as Google docs, among many others, are making team projects much easier. They make it simple to meet and work with people from all over the world. 

Yes! Your Ideas

You have a great idea for an app but you just don’t have the nerve to even attempt to make it happen.  Why? I used to tell myself that if it’s a good idea, it’s probably already been done. It took me years to change that one extremely destructive thought. But once I got the ball rolling, it was amazing how many of my ideas led to success.

In improv class, I was instructed to Yes! my ideas. Getting into the habit of just supporting myself, without looking for approval or support from others first, was truly liberating. Sure, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons and do a little analyzing. But too much analysis leads to stagnation. Yessing your ideas, whether they succeed or fail, is much more likely to lead to growth. (And success is nearly always much closer than you think!)

Learn to Observe Your Thoughts

As noted in my example above, just one destructive thought can keep you from leading a truly fulfilling life. So it follows that removing or countering such thoughts can unleash great potential. But no such changes can be made unless we are able to see what needs changing.

There are many ways to develop your inner thought observer. The first step is realizing that you are not your thoughts.  Some effective ways to get in touch with your true self and begin to notice your thoughts as separate from you are: meditation, yoga, silence, journaling and staying present oriented.

Reading books that guide you in this process can be of great help as well.  Some that I’ve found helpful are: Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda; A Course In Miracles; Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes Jr.; The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle; The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer; and Ageless Body, Timeless Mind by Deepak Chopra.

Stop Taking Things So Seriously

Imagine what you could do at this very minute if you truly believed that nothing is the end of the world. You’d probably take a few more risks, you’d almost certainly laugh a lot more and take more joy in life.

Wearing life lightly, as they say, has these and many other advantages.  The gambler who can afford to lose is often more likely to win so lowering the stakes can really help. You can do this by refusing to believe that losing is the end of the world.  I try hard to visualize success, but I also visualize being ok with not succeeding.

I also try hard to play, laugh and not judge myself or others. “Everyone has the right to make an ass of themselves,” as Ruth Gordon says in Harold & Maude. Also, “L-I-V-E LIVE! Otherwise you’ve got nothing to talk about in the locker room.”

(Photo by sosarem)

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Jenise Fryatt

Jenise Fryatt is the founder and chief trainer of Eventprov.

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