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Look Where You Want to Go, NOT at the Bush!

Posted in adult learning, business skills, change management, creativity, self improvement, team building, visualization, Yes your ideas!
Feb
17

Once upon a time, I wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle. So my husband bought me a dirt bike and took me off-road.

Ever a man of few words, he showed me how to shift and brake and told me the best way to learn was by doing. So I hopped on and shakily began to make my way around the popular desert dirt-biking location to which he had carted me, our 10-year-old son and our three dirt bikes.

I say shakily, because though I was well-armored with leather jacket, heavy jeans and a helmet, I felt extremely vulnerable and clueless atop what seemed to be a very loud and unpredictable metal beast of a bike.

As I made my way around, I noticed my son and husband having a good old time, scaling what I considered to be a very steep hill. Maternal worry crept into my thoughts, but I soon realized that managing my bike was going to take all of my concentration. So I put all my focus into balancing my shifting, accelerating and steering.

‘Though in my mind, I was trying to avoid this bush with every fiber of my being…. I ran right into it.’

After a short while, I started to notice that there seemed to be a lot more bushes than there had been when I’d first started. The thought occurred to me that I could very easily run into one of them. As I swerved around bush after bush, this thought, started to possess me.

Suddenly I was aimed straight for a massive bush. As I stared at it, my biggest fear was that I would run into it and both me and my bike would go flying, I might land on my head, sever my spinal chord and be a paraplegic for the rest of my life.

Though in my mind, I was trying to avoid this bush with every fiber of my being…. I ran right into it. Both me and my bike went flying and I landed on my head.

‘If you are staring at a bush, that’s where your bike will go.’

The good news is I didn’t end up a paraplegic. I got right up, with only a few bruises.

Later on, when I took a class to get my motorcycle license, I learned the mistake I had made that caused my crash. On a motorcycle, it’s imperative that you keep your eyes on the place where you want to go. Your bike will follow your gaze. So if you are staring at a bush, that’s where your bike will go.

It was a painful lesson, but one I’ve remembered and apply now, to just about everything.

As a speaker, I take time to envision the details of how I want my presentations to go off and be received. As a team-building activity facilitator, when I’m leading games that ask people to go beyond their comfort zone, I imagine them trying it and being delighted at their abilities and at the fun and laughter they experience.

‘I realize that often, I’m afraid to commit to my intended destination.’

I realize there are many places in my life where I’m still fixated on the bush. For instance, I focus on the difficulties in our family dynamics, not where things could go as we grow into the future.

I realize that often, I’m afraid to commit to my intended destination. I hear this internal voice desperately arguing that deep contemplation of the bush will protect me from running into it. I’m learning to turn the sound down on that voice. Because I’ve seen way too may bushes fade into nothing when I envisioned what I truly wanted to happen.

I still live in a world FULL of big, fat, menacing bushes. But I’m a much more confident rider these days because I’m spending most of my time looking at where I’m trying to go.

I don’t expect that means I’ll never again fall on my face. But I think it will happen less often. And when it does, I expect that I will pick myself up and be stronger in the long run because THAT’S where I’m looking.

(Photo by Michael Heidenreich)

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Jenise Fryatt

Jenise Fryatt is the founder and chief trainer of Eventprov.

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  • Anonymous

    I enjoyed the tie-in of the vivid exciting bike experience with principles of communication. Nice job.

    • http://www.eventprov.com Jenise Fryatt

      Thanks a lot, Bob. It’s really amazing how these kinds of life lessons are all around us. I’m glad I know about this one.

  • Anonymous

    Terrific post, Jenise. It reminds me of two things: firstly when I learned to drive a car (a million years ago) it seemed magnetically drawn to the kerb, or other lanes, or other vehicles. I eventually realised that I had to stop looking at the things I wanted to avoid and focus on the things I wanted to move toward. This eventually became a metaphor for living my life.

    The second thing it reminds me of is Charlie Brown’s attempts to fly a kite. No matter what he does, that tree manages to grab it! Many times in life we feel like Charlie Brown, but if we continue to focus on what we want instead of what we want to avoid, we’ll attract the right things. Thanks for the post!

    My latest blog post: Success is an Attitude ( http://bit.ly/wpitaT )

    • http://www.eventprov.com Jenise Fryatt

      Thanks so much for the comment, Ash! If anyone would get this post, you would. It really is amazing how many metaphors there are around us that serve to teach this lesson. But I guess they’re necessary. It sure took me long enough to get the message!